A Physically Un-intimidating Woman’s Guide to Street Vendors

You understand the concept from your family holidays to Majorca and Greece. Hoards of (usually) men line the major tourist areas, selling bric-a-brac of paper roses, giant plastic sunglasses, and flashing objects that you can fling into the sky for no apparent reason. Sometimes they appear to be selling designer gear, – in reality cheap knock offs, like Omoga and Ralex watches, Cucci sunglasses, Abibas snapbacks. On your family holiday, your mum, dad, older brother, granny were there to swat them away. But not now. Now you and your best friends are on your first girls’ holiday. You’ve spent the last three hours perfecting your outfits and hairstyles for your first night on the strip. You are walking towards the jungle. You only have 100 Euros for the night, and realistically, you only want to spend it on booze. Ahead, you see them, arms full of nick nacks. The dread of the next few minutes washes over you like the Mediterranean waves did that morning. What do you do? I, a 5ft 3, 64k, blonde, usually sunburnt woman, know exactly how you feel. Here, I will outline my three top tips for dealing with vendors on your travels. Be confident My best piece of advice is to make it look like you know exactly where you are going. A slowed pace and flippant look at the mini Colosseums (strange, since you are in Tenerife) gives you that second of hesitance. […]

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